“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” It is a very old saying, yet it remains just as relevant today as it was when it was first spoken. Human beings make mistakes. After all, we are only humans and not gods. We say things we should not say. We do things we should not do. We disappoint people. We hurt people, sometimes intentionally and sometimes without even realizing it. Making mistakes seems to be part of the human experience. Forgiveness, however, appears to be a different matter altogether. If erring is human, why does forgiving seem so difficult?
Over the years, I have noticed that many people hold on to every slight, every disappointment, and every hurt with a determination that borders on vengeance. Some wounds never seem to heal because they are reopened repeatedly through memories, conversations, and resentment. Yet I often find myself asking a different question.
Who suffers the most when forgiveness never comes? Is it the person who caused the hurt, or the person carrying it? As the old saying goes, “holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s not easy to let go of the anger from the “perceived” pain, but holding on and not letting go, who suffers?
For me, forgiveness has never meant pretending that something did not happen. It has never meant that I suddenly agree with what was done or that I must continue exposing myself to the same behaviour. In fact, my understanding of forgiveness has evolved over time. I forgive, for me, and very often I simply walk away. That may sound contradictory to some people. They assume that forgiveness means restoring everything to the way it was before. But I do not see it that way. Walking away does not mean I dislike you. Walking away does not mean I hate you. Walking away simply means I love myself and my sanity more.
There comes a point where protecting your peace becomes more important than winning an argument, proving a point, or maintaining a relationship that continuously drains you. I have learned that I do not need to sacrifice my emotional well-being so that someone else can remain comfortable. Why should I keep putting myself in situations that leave me stressed, anxious, frustrated, or depressed? Why should I continue carrying a burden that someone else placed on my shoulders? It makes little sense to me. So rather than complain endlessly about a situation, I often choose a different path. I step away.
My personality has always leaned toward protecting my peace at all times and at the lowest possible cost to myself. This I have done more and more as I got older. Sometimes the most effective solution is not confrontation. Sometimes it is not revenge. Sometimes it is not even explanation. Sometimes it is simply distance. Distance has a way of bringing clarity. It allows you to breathe again. It allows you to think again. It allows you to regain control of your emotions instead of allowing someone else’s actions to control them for you. That does not mean I stop speaking to you. It does not mean I become hostile. It simply means I am no longer willing to take on your issues to my own detriment. You continue your journey without me. I continue mine in a different direction.
Life has taught me that not every battle is worth fighting and not every relationship is worth preserving at any cost. Some situations become unhealthy. Some people bring chaos wherever they go. Some environments slowly erode our sense of peace without us even realizing it. When that happens, perhaps the healthiest response is not to stay and endure. Perhaps it is to leave.
Stress is not good for the body. We know that. We hear it repeatedly from doctors, health professionals, and even our own experiences. The body keeps score. It remembers the sleepless nights, the constant tension, the anxiety, and the emotional exhaustion. If I am fortunate enough to have only one body, should I not take care of it for as long and as best as I can? That question alone has changed many of my decisions over the years. Forgiveness, then, is not always about reconciliation. Sometimes forgiveness is about release. It is about refusing to allow someone else’s actions to occupy permanent space in your mind. It is about freeing yourself from the weight of resentment while also giving yourself permission to move on. Maybe that is why forgiveness can feel so difficult. It requires us to let go of something we believe we have a right to hold on to.
But perhaps the greater question is this: Is holding on helping us? Or is it hurting us? I do not claim to have all the answers. I only know that as I get older, peace becomes more valuable, sanity becomes more precious, and life feels too short to spend carrying burdens that do not belong to me. So I forgive. And sometimes, I walk away. What does forgiveness look like for you?
I genuinely want to know your thoughts, and I’m sure others do too. Feel free to comment 👍🏽, but if you’re not comfortable sharing, please reach out to me through any medium. I’d be thrilled if you could share something, anything, and let others know. Your comments help me understand your perspective and often present a completely different view on the topic. They could even inspire another blog. 😉 And you never know how your comment might benefit others. Remember, life is meant to be lived, and you should always strive to live your best life. #lifeisforliving #liveyourbestlife #gratefulforlife #faithgreaterthanfear
See you next Wednesday at 8:00 p.m., Bogotá time.