When was the last time you asked someone for permission to be yourself? It sounds like an odd question, doesn’t it? Most of us would quickly answer, “Never.” After all, we are adults. We make our own decisions. We choose our careers, our friends, our hobbies, and where we live. Or do we? Sometimes I wonder if we ask for permission more often than we realize. Not with words, perhaps, but with our actions. We wait for someone’s approval before taking a step. We hesitate because someone may not agree. We quietly put our dreams on hold because we fear disappointing those around us.
Somewhere along the way, we begin to believe that someone else has the authority to decide how we should live our lives. It is almost as if we have been placed inside a box. A comfortable box. A familiar box. A box built from expectations, opinions, traditions, and sometimes even love. The strange thing is that after a while, we stop noticing the walls. We begin to think they have always been there.
How do we get ourselves out of that box? How do we move forward without asking for someone else’s permission? Do we even recognize that we have been seeking permission in the first place?
I’ve seen it in my own life, and I’ve watched it happen to others. Sometimes, intentionally or unintentionally, people decide that because you are in their orbit, they somehow have a say in how you should live yours. They may not speak the words aloud, but their expectations become clear. They believe you should think as they think, choose as they choose, and live as they would live. Without realizing it, we begin asking silent questions. Is this okay? Will they approve? Will they be disappointed if I choose differently? Before long, we are living a life that fits comfortably within someone else’s expectations rather than our own calling.
I’ve always been an introvert. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether that had something to do with the way I approached life. I genuinely enjoyed my own company. If I wanted to visit somewhere, I went. If I wanted to apply for a job, I applied. If it was time to leave, I left. If I wanted to see another part of the world, I packed my bags and went to see it. I never waited until someone was available to accompany me. I never thought to ask permission. It wasn’t because I was particularly brave. It certainly wasn’t because I had all the answers. It was simply what felt necessary. Waiting for someone else’s approval would have meant waiting indefinitely, and life has a way of moving whether we move with it or not.
Perhaps that independence became one of the greatest gifts I never knew I was receiving. Of course, independence doesn’t mean we ignore wise counsel. There is value in listening to people we trust. There is wisdom in seeking advice from those who have travelled roads we have not yet walked. But advice is different from permission. Advice informs. Permission controls. There is a difference. Maybe that’s why so many people remain where they are. Not because they lack ability or opportunity, but because they are waiting for someone to tell them they are allowed to become who they were created to be.
What if that permission never comes? What if no one ever says, “Go ahead”? Will you remain where you are? Or will you decide that your life is yours to live? I don’t believe any of us should spend our lives waiting for approval to write our own story. We were each given one life, one journey, one set of experiences that belongs uniquely to us. No one else can live it for us.
Perhaps the hardest permission we ever have to give is the permission we give ourselves. The permission to change. The permission to try. The permission to fail. The permission to begin again. The permission to simply be who we are.
Maybe that’s where thriving begins, not when everyone agrees with our choices, but when we finally stop believing that they have to.
So let me leave you with a few questions. Do you ask for permission to live your life? Have you even noticed when you’re doing it? If you have, what would it look like to stop asking… and simply begin living?
See you soon! Join me again next Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. (Bogotá time) for another reflection on life, faith, growth and the lessons we learn along the way. If this week’s reflection encouraged you, there are many more thoughtful reflections in my book, “Thoughts on Life”, now available.
Before you go, I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below. Every perspective is valuable, and your insights often help me see things in a completely different way. If you’re not comfortable commenting publicly, feel free to reach out to me through any medium. I’d love to hear from you.
Your feedback not only encourages me, but it may also inspire a future blog and help someone else who reads it. You never know how your words might make a difference.
Remember, life is meant to be lived, so always strive to live your best life.
#lifeisforliving #liveyourbestlife #gratefulforlife #faithgreaterthanfear